The Brave women, Dharamshala

I arrived to India at the age of 21 in 1994. My main purpose of leaving Tibet by myself was to study and work. However I was considered as too old to receive a proper education and so I had to attend the Soga School for elders with a limited range of subjects. Still, I was determined to make something of myself. I managed to get a job as a housekeeper at Kirti, a Tibetan monastery. There I met my husband and became a mother to two sons. My husband was a very loving and responsible father and we both raised our children in a loving family home. I felt I had everything I wanted. My husband provided me with a safety blanket that I had never felt before. But there was one Chinese woman who kept on coming every day to our home. I then saw my husband with this Chinese woman one late evening. I put one and two together and suspected them of having a relationship. I felt distraught, hurt, powerless and wrapped in fury. I decided to leave for four days without a word. Without a call from my husband or even an attempt in finding me, I felt more abandoned than ever. Divorce was the only option in my eyes. Naturally as a mother I was worried about the effects this could have on my children’s wellbeing. At the same time what was I supposed to do in this situation, living in an unhappy household could also affect our children in a negative way. I could not stand for it and went forth with the divorce. I worked hard once again. This time I set up a market stall and survived on items sold. Then one day at the Luthiana market I met my second husband. But cracks in our relationship started to unravel themselves soon after we got married, and I moved in with him and his mother. His mother made my life difficult, and he fell into a habit of gambling which forced me to work double as hard. I felt drained. We got divorced. My second husband was filled with so much anger that he took all of my market stall items and sold them at a very cheap price, sometimes he even just gave them away as if nothing. Heartbroken and penniless I felt robbed off my dignity, independence and fearlessness. Still I was the best mother that I could be to my children throughout and visited them every second weekend at the Tibetan Children Village School. Seeing that I had no other relatives, the only people who supported me were all of my neighbours whom I could confide in like brothers and sisters. Especially three of my very good friends that I had made along the way of all my hardship, they have been fortunate enough to move abroad and are now trying to help me get out of the situation and move out of the country by sending me some of their savings. I consider myself as fortunate and full of hope with such a powerful network and community filled with such loving individuals next to me.
Anonymous (Age 42)

Photo and Interview created by Kunga Tenzin
Edited by Yasmine Tanwidjaja-Pajares